Am I Autistic?

A few months ago, I read an article about parents who discovered their autism only after their children had been diagnosed with it. I started to question if I am on the spectrum the same as them! I did an online quiz "autism spectrum quotient", and I got 28 out of 50. Scores between 26 and 32 indicate some autistic traits. Asperger's syndrome was mentioned in brackets. Later, I learned that the name Asperger's is no longer used and this condition now falls under the umbrella of Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD). I shared the result with my friend and her reply was; "Oh Gosh!" with a shocked face emotion. I asked her what she thought of it. She said; "You might be a kind of an asocial person but not autistic". I believe she had the commonly mistaken idea that autistic people are kind of freaks and totally dependent on others.

Every autistic person is different. The symptoms vary greatly and they're rated according to their severity by doctors. You could be autistic with mild issues which is why some parents/people might not pick it up. The numbers of autistic people are rocketing recently because many people weren't aware of it, not because of vaccines or bad parenting.

I tried to block this topic out until I came across a video of someone talking about the discovery of his autism. He found out he was on the autism spectrum at the age of 37. The Youtuber also touched on another important issue which was his constant failures in building up romantic or intimate relationships which rang a bell with me. He summarized it by saying; "I always messed it up". Listening to what he has been through since childhood was like watching my own life displayed on a projector screen. I related to every single word he said.

People used to consider me a polite and quiet child and when I grew up, some called me arrogant. No one thought that I might have had a disorder. I always find it difficult to communicate with people, especially those I don't know well. I thought it had something to do with my hearing impairment but I found even when I can follow what people say, I keep silent. I don't know what to say in social situations.
It took me a longer time than usual to learn common social skills. I recall most of the situations that happened when I was younger. These were considered faux pas and rude attitudes from the perspective of others, but not from mine. Now, I understand the reasons behind them. I either felt anxious or the social rules didn't make sense to me.

When I was at Dar Jan, I felt very anxious when the volunteers asked me to join their discussion and to introduce myself. At that moment, I wished the ground would open and swallow me up. Everyone there kept asking me why I was staying on my own most of the time and why I didn't join their chit-chats. Some even wondered whether someone had annoyed me!
My Mum used to say that my Dad wasn't good at dealing with people and that I'm just a copy of him! I wonder if he was just autistic and no one understood that!

Academically, I wasn't bad and my scores were often good, except for my very first school year which was in Al-Azhar. My Mum said that I refused to attend the final exams. She didn't know why so then she moved me to another school. In the new school, I did well in most of the subjects there, except for math starting from Standard Four.

I must confess finding out all of this provides relief and clarification for a lot of unexplained past situations. For the time being, I have a long road to go to learn how to improve my social skills and how to communicate with people without sounding blunt or acting awkwardly. 

I sometimes wonder what if I was born in another time or to other parents who would have made an effort to find out what was wrong with me, would my life have been better? Would there have been any difference? What if I could have understood all these issues earlier?