What I Want You To Know About My Hearing Loss

Dear friends,

As you know, I’m hearing impaired. This was the only information I shared with you, simply because I didn’t know I needed to learn and say more.

For the last few months, I have been educating myself on hearing loss and hearing aids. It was such an eye-opener. This has happened quite late but better late than never.

I have moderate to moderately severe sloping SNHL (sensorineural hearing loss) in my right ear. My left ear has a profound mixed hearing loss with poor speech discrimination. Poor speech discrimination is a kind of scientific, complicated way to say that I have trouble understanding speech even when the speaker’s voice is audible enough. This means that sometimes, I have trouble hearing you while other times, I can hear you but I find it difficult to understand what you say. This might be a lot to absorb at once but I will explain further details later.

Here are the main takeaways I’d like to share with you. These are important to keep our communication as productive and effective as possible. 

• Attention, Attention, Please

Make sure to get my attention before you speak to me, please. Tapping me on the shoulder or saying my name is a good way to shift my focus to you. However, saying my name only works when you are close to me, not when you’re in another room or a few meters away from me in a noisy place. Please keep that in mind.

• Face Me

Don’t turn your back to me while talking, please. Let me see your mouth, and your entire face, this is of great help. I don’t technically read lips but seeing your lips does help me understand what you say. However, sometimes I’d like to look at your eyes as the eyes say more than the mouth does but this is another topic.

• Enunciation Is The Best Solution

I desperately want to hear you and I will do my best to catch every single word you say but I need your help. When I don’t hear or understand you, don’t repeat the words the same way you did the first time. Enunciate and speak slower than before. Paraphrasing is another excellent solution when I fail to follow you.

• Context Brings Clarity 

I can’t distinguish the sounds of most consonants. For instance, empathy and embassy sound exactly the same to me. Context plays a major role in understanding unclear words. If you’re saying a word individually, please use it in a sentence, spell it out or write it down.

When I ask you to repeat a name or a number, spelling it out or writing it down will do the job. Pardon me if I caught your name incorrectly, please correct me gently.

• Lyrics Are Puzzles

I love listening to music and songs. However, I can’t make sense of most of the lyrics unless I read them beforehand. So if there is an Arabic song running in the background, don’t ask me what it is about because I probably won't know.

In most cases, moving my shoulders or dancing along with a song means I’m just following the rhythms I’m hearing.

I will probably face the same problem when you talk to me while there is music playing in an open, noisy restaurant. Sitting in a corner away from the sound coming out of the speaker while you’re on my right (the better ear) is a good strategy to follow.

• No Whispering

I understand there are moments when you want to approach me to tell me a secret or a quick comment in the ear. I’m sorry to disappoint you. This is not going to work at all. You will end up saying the words out loud more than once and everyone will know what you don’t want them to know. If it’s a kind of secret, wait until we are alone. If it’s urgent, just write it down on paper or on your phone so I keep up with you.

• Tired Of Listening

After a while, my brain will get tired of processing information and compensating for missing words. I will lose track of what you are saying and it will get difficult to keep concentrated. This is called “listening fatigue” so it’s better to have some breaks occasionally. We can go for a walk together or enjoy silence in a quiet place for a moment.

• Start Talking After The Beep

You might hear some beeping on and off. Don’t panic, this is my hearing aid. The beeps go off when I touch my ear or my hair or when there is an issue with the receiver. Also, it can happen when I change the batteries of my hearing aids. In this case, I will go deaf for moments but I will be back soon.

Last but not least, I’m still learning about my hearing loss and what I can and can’t do with or without my hearing aids. I’ll update you on everything I need you to know to keep our communication smooth and our friendships flourishing with the minimum hurdles.

Thanks for your patience and for not giving up on me! Together we can make it work out.