To My Friend... For Being My Ears

 Marwa and I have known each other for over eight years. Our long-distance friendship started back when I was working on a Khaleeji forum online. I worked from the comfort of my home. I didn’t have to commute to work or interact with people in real life. Messages were all that was required for communication. 

One day, a need arose to recruit more staff. I offered this opportunity to my ex-college peers, which was logical, but I also contacted people I didn’t know personally. Yasmin was one of the latter. I got to know Yasmin through Lang-8, a website where I had my English writing corrected by natives. I asked her if she knew more people who could work on the forum and she recommended Marwa, her sister-in-law.

A friend of mine was shocked that I offered jobs to people I didn’t know well. She wondered what if they didn't do a good job. My mantra was, and still is, that we had to try people out to see if they were fit for a job or not. I believe that would apply to relationships and friendships as well. We just have to try to find an answer! Yasmin didn’t do a good job, but Marwa did. We kept working on this forum for a year or so until we both were kicked out along with others as new blood was brought in.

Over time, Marwa and I became friends while I lost contact with Yasmin.

There have definitely been some gaps in our friendship but in the end, here we are. We've made phone calls and video calls from time to time. We exchanged numerous voice messages about our different life events. Something that I would have expected from another “close friend” but never got.

Additionally, she was my guru in the kitchen. A few years ago, I knew nothing about cooking. I remember that time when I prepared lasagna for the first time without searching for the recipe. When I took it out of the oven, it was so hard. I sent a photo to Marwa who humorously went like: “What the hell did you do exactly?” She explained that the lasagna needed liquid, tomato sauce, to be cooked in.

Who would believe that a few years later, I’d be so much better in the kitchen and I’d love cooking, as well as baking! And Marwa witnessed my journey from zero to hero. I still sometimes mess up in the kitchen but every mistake is a chance to learn. And most importantly, I have Marwa whom I can run to before the recipe turns into a disaster.

Later on, I enrolled in some transcription projects. Although I didn't know much about my hearing loss back then, I knew that was something I couldn't do well on my own. Hence, I asked Marwa to join me in working on these projects.

Marwa as a wife and mother of two daughters, lacked the time, while I had plenty of it but “lacked” the hearing. She could do the listening parts while I studied guidelines and reviewed the transcription batches, which was my forte. We were a perfect team. The money I got from these projects enabled me to make sporadic trips over the months that followed. I owe her. Without her help, I wouldn’t have been able to do any of these jobs, or, as a result, make money and keep traveling.

When I look back on it now, I feel lucky not to have been so reluctant to get to know people online. I’m grateful for having grabbed this opportunity and for having allowed Marwa to prove herself both in the job and in friendship. Moreover, that was evidence that I’m not asocial as some people accused me of. I can build steady and solid friendships. I just did it the way that suited me better. That was when I wasn't aware that I preferred written communication behind screens because I intuitively wanted to avoid using my "impaired" hearing.

Marwa and I met in person for the first time on September 9, 2023 in her hometown, Damietta. She was all ears and a good advisor when I finally opened up. She shared her insights gently and wisely. We disagreed on some topics, but disagreement couldn’t ruin our mutual respect.

Furthermore, her friendship made me reconsider my friendships with others whom I considered close friends. I still appreciate my relationships with those "others" but I’ve realized that I have certain criteria that I expect from my friendships. I totally understand that not all of them will be close friends, not all of them will be there whenever I need them, and not all of them can keep in regular contact. However, those whom I call close friends have to fill in some blanks in my life and I should do the same for them. Marwa was able to give me what I needed, and I hope I can return the favor.

Above all, Marwa was the one who was able to understand and acknowledge how lost I was feeling. She was the one who encouraged me to seek help for my mental health. I understand that life gets in the way, and she already has a busy life, but I hope we will manage to keep in contact as we have over the last eight years. And I realize that I still have a long way to go, mainly on my own, but I will never forget what she did for me.

Thanks for being there for me, Marwa!