Is Love A Matter Of Culture?

I was reading about the history of sex and gender when I came upon the comments of historian Barbara Rosenwein about the emotions saying that “the capacity of having these emotions physically and mentally is universal but the ways through which they are elicited, felt and expressed are affected by the cultural norms”.

I’m not sure what this exactly means. Does it mean that we, for example, love our parents and family members by nurture, not by nature? We’re fed our cultures and norms that push us to respect them and take care of them even, in some cases, to the detriment of our wellness! We’re brought up to follow our parents’ religion and traditions without question. We have to bite our tongue when someone older calls us names. We have to keep in contact with family members even when they are the instigators of disturbance in our life! If this was what was meant, I would agree.

On another occasion, Donata Francescato, one of Effe’s magazine editors, talked about love as a form of patriarchy. “Love can make women submissive to those they love. Love is a very simple and positive phenomenon but has been disrupted by power relations.
There are other ways to satisfy our needs of belonging, identity, eroticism than looking for love. There are ways to fill the missing parts of our lives by rediscovering and liberating ourselves. Life can offer us many opportunities only if we’re ready and open for them. We should give our lives a sense even if love’s never knocked on our door. There are endless opportunities for joy if we stop keeping or bringing back a love that was only harmful to us".

This kind of reassures me. As someone who has never fallen in love, I always feel as if I’m missing something or as if I’m at a station waiting for a train that will never arrive. I have fears I would be lonely and without tasting love forever but looking at my life through this perspective calms me down. Instead of wasting my energy and time looking for love, I should invest them in other emotions. I still face obstacles understanding myself and discovering my proclivities but I should never give up until the last breath.