We Don't Always Know Why We Say Things
Written: Dec 10, 2021 - 21:19
What is the difference between a confabulation and a lie?
When you ask someone what will happen after they die, they answer according to what they believe. They haven't yet died and no one has returned from death to say what exactly happens on the other side. So when they say they will go to heaven or hell or that they don't believe in the afterlife at all, this is not a lie but rather a kind of confabulation.
Another example of confabulation is what's been going on with my mum recently. She puts her stuff somewhere, then she can't remember where she hid it. Her immediate answer is that someone, usually me, has taken the stuff away from her.
Since she can't remember where these missing things are, her mind gives other explanations that unfortunately result in her accusing me falsely. When I ask her why would I steal your stuff? She answers that is because I want to drive her crazy! She's not aware it's not true and her mind tries to deal with the situations with what's at its disposal. It's easier for her mind to make up a story of someone taking her stuff away because she often fails to remember where it is.
But as My mum swears that she "saw" me or in other cases, saw another person taking her things, a question comes to my mind, is it actually a confabulation or a delusion?
The most important question that I should find an answer to is:
How can my family and I deal with my mum and her confabulations? Should we confront her with the fact that she uses these erroneous thoughts to avoid admitting that she is losing her memory? Should we help her understand the truth or keep the current narratives as they are?
I will keep learning to find answers to my questions and learn to deal better with my mum and other incidents I experience in my life. I just hope I will be sufficiently patient to never lose hope in enhancing our lives as much as possible.
What is the difference between a confabulation and a lie?
According to what I learned during the "What Is A Mind" course, a confabulation is an involuntary false narrative for something to fill in perceived gaps for events that haven't yet been experienced, or memories incorrectly recalled.
When you ask someone what will happen after they die, they answer according to what they believe. They haven't yet died and no one has returned from death to say what exactly happens on the other side. So when they say they will go to heaven or hell or that they don't believe in the afterlife at all, this is not a lie but rather a kind of confabulation.
Another example of confabulation is what's been going on with my mum recently. She puts her stuff somewhere, then she can't remember where she hid it. Her immediate answer is that someone, usually me, has taken the stuff away from her.
Since she can't remember where these missing things are, her mind gives other explanations that unfortunately result in her accusing me falsely. When I ask her why would I steal your stuff? She answers that is because I want to drive her crazy! She's not aware it's not true and her mind tries to deal with the situations with what's at its disposal. It's easier for her mind to make up a story of someone taking her stuff away because she often fails to remember where it is.
But as My mum swears that she "saw" me or in other cases, saw another person taking her things, a question comes to my mind, is it actually a confabulation or a delusion?
The "What is a Mind" course mentor replied to my question explaining it is a confabulation more than a delusion where the memory -in the case of dementia- is kind of impaired.
The most important question that I should find an answer to is:
How can my family and I deal with my mum and her confabulations? Should we confront her with the fact that she uses these erroneous thoughts to avoid admitting that she is losing her memory? Should we help her understand the truth or keep the current narratives as they are?
I will keep learning to find answers to my questions and learn to deal better with my mum and other incidents I experience in my life. I just hope I will be sufficiently patient to never lose hope in enhancing our lives as much as possible.
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